God and Evil

After weeks of reading and meditating on the book of Job, I got convinced that God is really sovereign. His plans cannot be thwarted (c.42.v.2) and even what Job experienced was actually from Him (c.42.11). Matthew Henry, in his commentary on Romans 9, said that:
"And herein God is to be considered, not as a rector and governor, distributing rewards and punishments according to his revealed laws and covenants, but as an owner and benefactor, giving to the children of men such grace and favour as he has determined in and by his secret and eternal will and counsel: both the favour of visible".
It is very clear that God does not portray a leader-like stature but rather a big-time owner whose ultimate end is to glorify Himself by enjoying Himself forever (Desiring God, John Piper). And that enjoyment is fulfilled in the presence of evil, where His Name triumphs on, thus gets the glory forevermore. Therefore, I have to admit that my stand on His sovereignty hangs on the belief that evil was actually authored by Him.

The Last Nine Minutes of My Work Today

After almost a month of sleeping and getting paid, I've put my bike back on track again. I've met my new students, two and three year olds, hanging around my prepared environment. The funny thing is nothing was actually expected to be worked out today. I just spent my first three hours with the funny kids, then a lunch at home and a legendary three-hour surfing activity. And within five minutes I'll be off again. Perhaps, buy a cake for my loving wife, or a box of rice at Chowking.

A... I don't know. "I just don't feel myself lately. It's just about this clock. It's a minute late."

Nothingness

With nothing in mind, I opened my word processor thinking nothing. There’s actually nothing to write about, nothing that can actually make me process my thoughts. It’s only absolute nothingness, and that’s what I have tonight, and what I am, forever.

And how pitiful am I, to be a senseless creation, created with nothing, living with nothing and looking for nothing. Though my desires seem to be good at all, the truth is, they are not, they are just all decoys, never really revealing what I am really made of. It’s just a façade, nothing truthful, because I am totally nothing.

And how disgusting is my life, living and breathing a repeated routine of nothingness. Thinking that I am doing something but no, I am just a poor being trapped in the dimension of nothingness. I’ve never actually achieved anything. And if there is any, there has been anything, that I’ve thought that has made me land on the moon, then I’d been fooling myself to brag about it, cause there was nothing there. I’ve just made a few rings of waves but actually have done nothing. And those waves, would just surface in a few seconds but shoot, a few seconds more and they are gone, onto nothingness.

And how miserable is my life, eating, drinking and getting merry. Everything seems to be fine but everything is empty as well. I took a cup of tea thinking that there was a great blend of liquid poured into it, but the cup was empty. It looked full in the outside, it even looked heavy, but there was none to drink, nothing to celebrate about. I might have showed a very peaceful, happy and contented life, but behind the curtains of the cocktails hides the devious creature, waiting for a fly to be trapped in my web and devour the smelly flesh of it. I am too evil, crooked and unloving, yet the world sees me as someone who is ought to be leading them, someone whose voice can lead the herd back into the fold, and someone whose strength can beat a thousand battalions of Phalanx. They all think that way, but they are all wrong. For I cannot even protect myself, I cannot even find my way back to my own place and I cannot even speak for what I want. I am too childish, and too callous.

Yet, despite my evil and bloodlust desires, there was someone whose arms were open wide. One whose eyes for me looked beyond my misery and disgust, one whose soft voice was enough to overpower my thunderous voice. He is the one, whose face was ready to accept shame, so that I can finally come to his name.

I don’t deserve your help, but you gave it. I can’t even look at you, but your eyes are fixed on me, how can I not see that? I don’t even deserve to live, but there you are, living a life for me.

I don’t deserve you, I am nothing, and you are everything. But why this act?
Well, I don’t care anymore, I cannot understand why, probably, I will never know why. But seeing you around me makes me more eager to trust and know, not why, but how.

So, let me fall into again into nothingness and find my everything… you…

Where am I?

I've been too busy with the material world and now I'm looking for my place again. I feel lost, unsure, quite anxious and still farting. I indulged myself too much again with the things that I have and I lost again the commonality of the visual presence. Well, I just think I need a few breaks for me to fly again. After all, the past weeks were really too busy and up to now, I'm still working to have this unfinished businesses be fished out. Lesson plans, Casa Checklists and Report Cards, plus the upcoming sports event on the third week of this month. And oh, it's my wife's birthday on the fifteenth, well, I have to utilize my time again properly to maintain my sanity. And oh, my bills again, on the fifteenth, collectors will be roaming the school again, I just hope that I'll be able to make the ends meet there. I just don't feel comfortable having unpaid bills. They all seem to be unending yet I know, that I can still hold them in my hands. In comparison with the guts of someone who had his hands nailed on a cross, mine is too fragile. And I'll be needing his bloody hands again to back me up, I don't care if it's messy, as long as it is Him, I won't care a bit. And I know, beside Him, I can fart without thinking Him getting mad at me, He understands it, after all.
And that's where I am supposed to be.

A place where I can smile, unwind, free, relax and fart....

The Eraserheads are coming back to town!

I may be late in my announcement but Ely Buendia, the band's lead vocalist just announced their reunion concert via radio and television. They'll be staging it at the CCP grounds with a forty-five minute runtime on August 30, 2008. The great news about it is, it is ABSOLUTELY FREE. You may even join online contests and raffles in other sites. Some say that they'll be playing it for ten million pesos, probably 2.5 m each. Well, it sounds good that they'll be playing again but I doubt it if they'll be doing it again as Eraserheads. As we all know, the great historical, pivotal band in the 90's broke up last 2001 due to some roadie reasons. I won't state the reasons anymore since anyone can browse about it in the net. The thing is, they will be together, but how long will it take. Had the two parties, Ely's and the three stoogies' went into good conversations again? Or are they just playing it for the cash. I can't blame them if the reason is the latter but to consider the fans raged with their upcoming concert, they should do it as Eraserheads. Not Ely's, Not Raims or Marcus or Buddy but Eraserheads.
See you in the field!

Earning Cash Online

I really don't know but I was persuaded to trust this Paid To Click sites. My trials took me a few days and now, I have transformed my trials into a habit. I even invited some of my friends with my newly discovered way of earning money. It is not that much but at least in some way, you can expect something just for browsing and blogging. As of now, I was able to collect a dollar and 65 cents from one site, a dollar and 20 cents from another, 55 cents from another and a40 cents earning from another again. I just can't imagine that I am earning almost four dollars just by clicking ads and doing Paid To Post forums. And honestly, I believe I am being hooked in their attractive faces. I just hope that I won't get scammed or fooled because if these sites fail to satisfy my expectations, I will surely have a hard time moving on because I have invested a lot of time working on my computer.

My First Post

Hey, thanks for taking a minute in my blog. I'd been into blogging but never been this active. Since the day I was able to buy a laptop, the internet has always excited me, and I thank God for that. There are actually lots of things that I can share to you dear reader, but let me just express my excitement towards my life these days. As you see in the blog's name, I am a teacher. A fat, jolly, trying-to-look-good, funny and great teacher. And the thing is, I am not as rich as anyone as you think because teachers here in the Philippines are one of the least paid professionals. I regret that I am now working for a low wage, but joyful whenever I am in the presence of my pupils. My teacherhood has somehow helped me recognize my own strengths and weaknesses. I know that I may always be behind every significant events or gadgets which require a large sum of money. But it is not a block to my fortune. And my fortune tastes as successful as others do, and it is in the smiling faces of my kids. I will never swap those tiny smiling faces for a million bucks. I really love the expressions of their faces showing contentment inside my room, having a hard lesson learned, and a poopoo washed away by their own hands. And those things complete my joy.